The Journey to Balance
Today is a rare treat in my world. I have the day to myself. Entirely to myself. (Cue the trumpets!) Both kids are in school. I am not working. My husband is traveling. The calendar is empty. EMPTY. As in there is nothing written there that I have to do, drive to, complete or accomplish. I actually flipped back through my day planner (because I am still the one person who uses actual paper instead of an app to plan their life) and couldn't find a single day like this for the last 12 months. It's a pretty freeing feeling. And an odd one. Because to be honest, I don't sit well.
But on a free day, it would be fair to assume I have rested on the couch with bon bons and favorite TV shows that the DVR has recorded for months without me finding the time to enjoy them. As wonderful as that sounds, I actually didn't get to that today. I have been quite busy on my day of freedom. All laundry done and away. Volunteered at the kids school. Wrote an actual letter to mail someone. Cleaned up the house. Read. Worked out. Planned a few upcoming events. Turned up my music and danced around the kitchen while unloading the dishwasher. It has been glorious! But of all of the items that got accomplished, the one that means the most is that I actually took the time to sit down and really think about my life. How is it that in 12 months today is the first day I've had solo? The daily lists of accomplishments the day planner records tell me I have been quite busy and productive this year. But that word keeps coming back to mentally.....BALANCE.
Could it be a word I tell my clients often? Of course it is.
Do we discuss it and work toward it? Absolutely.
Does the world around us tell us that we should have it all in check and be balanced and wake up daily and hit repeat without difficultly? Unfortunately, it does.
According to society I'm pretty sure I should have a Pinterest worthy home, beautifully home-cooked (with all organic and local ingredients) meals on the table nightly, the kids and I should have extra snuggle time while my husband and I laugh together as we warm our feet by the fire and share a bottle of wine and do a couples devotional. Meanwhile the house is cleaned, the yard landscaped, the book bags hang nicely on their hooks ready for the next day and we skip through life happily.
Because that's what balance is right? That's what society, social media and "real people" tell us to do. Right? And we can achieve that and everyone else has their own work-life-parent-spouse-volunteer-friend-partner-employee-business owner- citizen - humanitarian-foodie-faith following selves figured out. Right?!
Wrong.
The reality is we have people in our lives who are absolute rock stars. They may be a dynamite parent who plans the most creative and thoughtful of shared moments together. Or they're the business person owning their career and leading their company to great success. They are the humble volunteer who is at every event, charity drive and service opportunity. They're the 5 star chef of their own kitchen who prepares meals some of us (ok- me) can't begin to understand how to cook. They have the perfectly styled clothes and know exactly how to pair accessories with the latest of haircuts. They're fit and have abs that come from their twice/daily sessions with trainers. They lead the Bible studies and take missionary trips to save lost souls. The list of rock star traits goes on and on.
We see such people and we assume that they also are doing everything else really well and accomplishing life with such gusto that nothing can derail them. And they may want you to believe that but the truth is- no one is able to be that great all the time. Reality smacks us all sometimes and we realize we're human. And no human is perfect. And this quest for "balance" is just that- a continual quest, as balance is not as much a destination as it is a journey.
Sure, there may be days when we nail it all. It's perfect. One of those rare moments when we look back and say "WOW. I killed it today in pretty much every way." Take a bow. Enjoy it. Relish those moments and savor them. Because in my experience, when those days happen- they're usually followed by a day of the kids fighting, toilets overflowing, speeding tickets and self doubt while life hands me a healthy dose of reality.
Balance is not always the same. Sometimes it is saying no to others to be "selfish" and stay home to read the book you've been unable to get to. Other times it means you say "yes" to a totally spontaneous activity or trip that takes you away from the "shoulds" but fills your heart and soul with love and laughter. It may mean accepting that the kids should take a bath but extra time snuggling with that book is more important. Or that you skip out of the tailgate or meeting because you just know you need to be home and catch up on your mental list. Balance changes. It adapts. And it comes when we choose our goals and live our vision over what the world tells us we should choose.
I know plenty of rockstars in my life. And sometimes I even get to play one myself. But I'm also smart enough to know that rockstars have assistants, support, a team to triage their life and make it all happen. That's how they create their balance.
And in thinking about my own team and balance- I accepted it was time to add someone to my "Balance Team." Sometimes I need some help and it doesn't mean I'm weak or can't do it all or am failing somehow. And like that I went from crawling on my hands and knees dusting floorboards to calling the the cleaning service. They start next week.
After all, I can do anything I want, but I can't do it all {alone}. Accepting that and making choices to help me live the life I want with decisions and actions that align with my vision and my goals is truly finding balance.