Fitting the pieces
I use a lot of analogies in session with my clients. It helps to paint the picture (see - I did it again there!) But it's true. When we can visualize a concept, it makes it so much easier to work for it and understand how something impacts our life. Feelings are invisible. We can't touch them. We can't see them. But we definitely know how they play out in our lives. Discussing feelings with visualization helps to make invisible feelings tangible.
The visual that keeps coming to my mind this week is a table full of puzzle pieces. We are working on the big picture [aka life] and putting all of the pieces [aka feelings, activities, people, experiences] together to make that greater big photo. But sometimes we are so busy putting the pieces together and making them fit that we forget to look at the top of the box to see what the picture is supposed to look like. But when we stop, slow down and look at the picture, it's then that we sometimes realize the picture isn't what we wanted to be making. Ah. Then what?! We've spent years shoving the pieces together and we realize that in the midst of it all- the photo we were working for has changed and we don't have the right pieces to get to the picture we wanted.
Life presents us a lot of puzzle pieces. Some of them we work hard to add to our piece collection [educational opportunities, jobs, family, kids, homes] but other times the pieces we find aren't the ones we want [illness, job loss, marital difficulty, family strife, etc.] And many we add on our own because the world "tells" us that we should. We add pieces for volunteering, scrapbooking, blogging, wine night, community outreach, soccer practice, kids music lessons, date night, family night, continuing education, gardening, dog walking, home organization, home repairs, etc. etc. the list goes on and on. Often, we are so busy shoving pieces together that we sometimes forget that if a piece doesn't work- we don't have to keep it in the puzzle. We just keep pushing them together while the ideal photo gets less and less clear.
Are there pieces in your world that don't contribute to your overall desired photo? Are there some you're keeping that need thrown back? Are you holding on to some out of fear you won't find another piece to replace it? Or is your picture so clouded you don't know what piece deserves to stay and what needs tossed?
It's OK. Stop. Take time. Look at those pieces. Look at the photo on the box. What pieces are going to get you to that desired photo? Once you know the picture you're working toward- then the pieces are much easier to fit.