Valentine's Day ~ 5 Love Langage Style

Valentine’s Day has become quite commercialized with red hearts, teddy bears and flowers at every store, pharmacy and even grocery store. With that comes pressure to show your loved ones just how you feel. While flowers, chocolates, a date night, etc. can be nice- the reality is not all of those speak to everyone in the same way. In fact, many ways of showing love don’t cost a penny and can mean even more. Speaking the correct love language is critical when showing love. The goal today (and everyday) is to express the love and appreciation felt for loved ones. Doing so in their love language helps ensure the message is heard.

A brief recap for those who don’t know or have forgotten the 5 love languages:

1- Words of Affirmation

2 - Quality Time

3- Acts of Service

4- Receiving Gifts

5- Physical Touch

If you haven’t read it before, or need to brush up on it, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is an excellent read - solo or in a partnership. In fact, maybe that’s a gift you want to give! We recommend it often to our couples to help build deeper connections. Even if you’re not in a relationship, knowing your love language(s) can be an important part of life too!

Still drawing a blank on ideas for your loved ones - here are some specific for the 5 love languages.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION:

It is important for those who crave words of affirmation to hear the positive messages, but also understand the why behind the affection too. “I love you” is nice to hear but can mean much more when paired with “I love you. The way you handle our household and your career is so impressive and shows how capable you really are!”

• Tell the person what you appreciate about them in a letter, poem, or song.

• Plan a scavenger hunt with little notes of what you like about them in each place.

•  Handwritten card(s) on their pillow, desk, bookbag or around the home can be especially meaningful.

• Send a song with meaningful lyrics of how you feel

• To make your words last longer than the day, consider a frame or white board where messages can be written often on why/how you love them.

• Take time to stop in the midst of the busy, look at them in the eye, and tell them just how you feel. Heartfelt words go right to the core for this recipient!

Quality Time

When it comes to quality time, this person appreciates someone who plans to spend the day with him or her. You can plan a day or just spend time together in real time. Don’t stress on what you do, the time together is what matters most. Remember, this person most craves quality- technology interruptions are especially frustrating for this person.

• Explore a museum, gallery hop or just a nature hike.

• Take a road trip - a day or weekend - the quantity is not as important as the quality.

• Go to a show, movie, or stay home and Netflix. Be sure to discuss the show after.

•  Enjoy a meal out together.

• Do something together like a yoga class, painting evening, wine tasting, etc.

Receiving Gifts

"Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift," says Dr. Chapman. This person isn't interested in you breaking the bank; they're interested in your intention. A stream of small gifts showing them they're on your mind and worth your time are physical reminders of an emotional truth—how much you love them! Be on the lookout for small gifts that align with his or her particular likes and dislikes, whether it's their favorite cup of coffee or their favorite candy bar. And a special delivery method will make them feel extra loved since they'll know you had to put effort into finding the gift and delivering it.

• Surprise them with their favorite beverage in the morning

• Sneak a small meaningful gift into their lunch bag

•  Deliver or drop off a special Valentine's Day package at their workplace

• Purchase a book they’ve wanted (or that made you think of them.)

• Jewelry and more costly things are nice and appreciated too- but the meaning is more important than the price tag!

Acts of Service

The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Ask yourself what you can do to make his or her life a little easier.

• Take over a project that has been on the to do list.

• Clean out the car, wash, fill with gas.

• Research things to do for an upcoming trip you know they're going to take

• A gift certificate to a car wash, house cleaning service, or mani/pedi will speak volumes to a loved one whose primary language is acts of service.

• Make them a favorite meal and let them sit with a glass of wine while you play chef for the night.

Physical Touch

Luckily, quality time and physical touch are two love languages that are easy to combine. Highlight opportunities to greet them with a great bear hug, hold their hand, or simply snuggle on the couch in front of a movie.

• Holding hands or walking arm and arm is important to this person. PDA is often craved by the physical touch love language recipients.

• A good therapeutic massage goes a long way in making this person feel cozy and loved.

• Gift a soothing bath fizz or prepare an aromatherapy soak to relax the muscles

• Go out dancing!

• Learn a new physical activity like rock climbing or take a self-defense class together.

Regardless of what you gift, do, or experience today- remember that affection and showing love happens more than just Valentine’s Day and should be spoken daily- year round!