An overdue time to listen

I'm on vacation this week in Key West for spring break. It has been great. Sun. Swimming. Adventure. Down time. Uninterrupted time with my family. Relaxing. Quality time. Really couldn't ask for more. 

Until I had one of those moments where I felt something was missing. How? In the mist of paradise and spring break where stress and worldly pressures were miles away could anything be missing?  But it was.  And I figured it out.  I have been neglecting a major part of my life. One of the parts I hold most dear. One may guess it was my relationships with my husband or kids. Nope. Those are solid. Work? Solid again. Family? Volunteering? Clients? Friends? Community involvement? All good. 

I'm ashamed to admit this- but it is my relationship with God. I'm a Christian and am proud of it. I have the ichthus (aka "Jesus fish") tattoo I got as a teen to remind myself I was walking with Christ. I practice as a Christian counselor. I try to live my life according to His teachings. But you know what I realized this week?! I haven't been in conversations with God nearly enough lately. Wow. Trade in the Key Lime. I was just served a giant slice of humble pie. 

I have prayed. A lot.  I've discussed His word. I've practiced his principles. But a conversation? A two way communication path? Well- no. I'm embarrassed to admit it but it has been mostly one sided with me talking and not slowing down enough to listen.  

And I decided that needed to stop. It was time I stopped. Allowed myself {forced myself} to be still. And listen. And appreciate all God has been saying to me. 

I often am told "Wow- you're so busy. You do so much. I don't know how you do it all."  I kind of like that. Again- I'm ashamed to say that. But I am. And shouldn't be. Busy isn't something to be proud of. And so I forced myself to stop this week. I woke up early. Snuck out of the condo alone (still dressed in my oh so trendy pajama bottoms and a sweatshirt ) and walked down to the beach for an early morning conversation with God while I watched the sunrise. 

How I loved it. How I needed it. How He deserved it. Not only was it beautiful to watch but it was beautiful to live. To have my ears opened. To listen. To stop.  To communicate and truly just be still and listen.

I stayed a long time. I cried. I sang. I watched as the world ran and drove by- unaware of the beauty ahead of them. I didn't turn on my phone or check messages or posts. I didn't care who was around me. I was still. It was overdue. But I'm so glad I stopped and listened.