Amazing Race Lessons

by Lesley Cross, MA, LPCC-S

Working with Adults & Couples in the Worthington Office

My family and I have loved watching The Amazing Race this season. Don’t worry, if you’re behind on the season, I won’t spoil the ending with this blog!

While watching the adventures together has been a favorite weekly family pastime, what makes my counselor heart even happier is hearing the observations my daughters have about the contestants and the way in which they interact with their partner and teammates. At the conclusion of tonight’s season finale, we sat down and recapped our favorite moments and what stood out to us as lasting memories and even relationship lessons.

We enjoyed aspects of many of the teams, but by far, the team that stood out with the most “life lessons” and takeaways was Kim & Penn Holderness. These are the top 6 lessons this couple demonstrated, taught and reminded throughout the season.

Supportive

Kim and Penn were positive with one another throughout the season. They cheered for one another. They supported other teams, even when they were passed by them, and they appreciated the moments as they came. While there were struggles, frustrations and difficult tasks, this team worked together and did not let the difficulty divide them. The teams who cut one another down with frustrated words, blamed their teammate in difficult moments and sulked through challenges not surprisingly did not make it as far as those who overcame challenges as a team with positive and determined attitudes.

Shared openly about their personal challenges

The raw honesty this couple had about their challenges was a breath of fresh air. Kim openly spoke about her anxiety and how she was fighting through moments of struggle. Penn shared about his ADHD. Despite what some may call disadvantages, this couple used their challenges to hone in on ways they could (and did) benefit from living with ADHD and anxiety. They shared about the difficulty of finding time for them as a couple and how being away from their children during the race was hard, but also that they were modeling to their kids the importance of hard work, finishing what you start and dedication.

Additionally, Kim & Penn shared that marriage counseling was something they had found beneficial during their marriage. This shared truth about what helped them to be a team helped to take away the stigma associated with counseling and related diagnoses. Thank you, Kim & Penn! (And, while some may not say it’s a challenge, Kim and Penn were not among the youngest teams in the season. They didn’t once let their age slow them from giving it their all!)

Appreciation

While they were busy and running across the world, this couple never missed an opportunity to be kind, thoughtful, say thank you and show respect to the different cultures, people and customs they met. They did not mock what was different from their own way. They did not turn up a nose to new experiences. It felt like they truly appreciated those around them and were constant in their gratitutde.

Use of Love Languages

Kim and Penn demonstrated continual use of two of the 5 Love Languages: Words of Affirmation & Physical Touch. While the moments were difficult, confusing, new and overwhelming ,this team was uplifting, used positive words with one another, asked how they were doing, checked in and didn’t cut one another down during times of mistake, struggle or error. Additionally, the physical touch between this couple was noticed through the season. They cheered together with hugs & kisses. They held hands and ran. They gave a supportive back rub and shoulder squeeze. The connection they showed was clear in multiple ways- and they made sure to speak that language repeatedly to one another and also to others with positive words and high 5s.

One of my favorite moments was when Penn teared up after Kim finished a bungee jump. He cried, hugging her, that he was thinking what his life would be like if she didn’t return from the challenge. In a moment where they were truly in a race for time, they still stopped to appreciate how much one another meant to the other, get a quick hug, then continue their challenge- together.

After the season ended, each team was interviewed and again, Penn & Kim gave praise, gratitude and respect to one another for the way in which they competed as a team. The lack of score keeping and instead the focus on uplifting one another through the season was evident in their successes along the journey.

Humble Positivity

Kim & Penn had a number of first place finishes resulting in prizes, trips, and/or money. Not once did they act entitled. They were humble, grateful and appreciative each and every time. There was no touchdown dance. There was no negative talk of others. They didn’t boast. They were humble, grateful and proud of one another at each leg.

Present and Persistent

While the goal of the show is to finish the race first and win $1M, Kim and Penn didn’t focus on the end. They stayed present in each activity, pausing for the view, taking time to enjoy the activities (when possible) and not let a moment go by without awareness. They were persistent, even when the challenges required repeated effort to get the job done, and they knew that the staying the course with the “right things” would help them continue to find successes.

What amazing lessons we can learn (and hopefully apply) in our own lives!

If you haven’t watched Season 33 of The Amazing Race, my family would highly recommend you make a bowl of popcorn and enjoy this season.